Tips for Dealing With Grief

Dr. Margaret L. Williams, LPC, CAMS, CPCS

Forty Five Affirmations

Allow space for your feelings - Grief is a natural process. Your grief will guide you where you need to go. Let yourself experience your feelings without struggling to resist or edit them.

Rest when you are weary - Grief is exhausting. Give yourself the time and space you need to be still to restore your body, mind, and spirit

Give yourself permission to say no - No is a complete sentence. Choose to be with people you want to be with. Engage in activities that feel right for you.

Give yourself permission to say yes - Say yes to nurturing yourself. Say yes to listening to your heart. 

Engage in a community - We all need to be seen and to be with people who get it. Seek out people who understand you and your grief. Expressing your feelings and sharing your experience with others can be transformative.

Spark curiosity - Challenge yourself to try new things or take a different approach. Is there something you’ve been interested in but have been waiting to try? Step outside of your habits. Meet a neighbor for a cup of coffee, visit a different park, learn something new.

Move - Grief lives in our bodies. To connect back to our physical body, move a little. Walk, dance, swim, stretch, connect your mind and your body by embracing a little movement each day.

Spend time in nature - When we are in grief, we can get stuck in our own minds. Nature is a powerful reminder of the world around us. We were designed to be able to handle grief, just as the tides of the sea rise and fall, as a tree reaches towards the sun, as a squirrel knows how to reserve resources through the winter. Give yourself the gift of time spent in the natural world. Let the wind touch your skin, listen to the sea, admire the vastness of the mountains, nurture a plant on your balcony or windowsill.

Breathe - I often remind people to let the day be the day. When people are in intense emotions such as crying, I often remind them to take a deep breath. Inhale acceptance and peace, exhale expectations and struggle. Connect with your breath and your body.

Stress Management Tips

Stress can be positive at times; however, it is often a negative response to unchecked emotions, or too much on one’s schedule.


 Worrying is a preoccupation with or rehearsal of a problem.


Showing concern means that one is aware of a troubling issue but not thinking about it constantly.


Review options when worried or stressed. Work through them systematically to find a solution.

Accept the fact that some issues will never be resolved! Find ways to minimize reactions to them.

A third neutral party is more likely to offer more objective advice than close friends or family members.

Taking breaks, breathing deeply, exercising, doing fun activities, and going on a trip, even a day or two, are excellent ways to reduce worry and stress.

Time Management

Be careful about putting certain things off until the last minute. An emergency may arise to interfere with your plan.

Generally, more can be done in less time when less stressed and focused on the task.

Think through most tasks before beginning to reduce mistakes and wasted time.

Exiting the house to leave for a destination usually takes about five to ten minutes: checking lights, appliances, security system, or garage door. Count it into the travel time, especially for work.

Stop underestimating how long it takes to get to a destination, using safe speeds.

Rejuvenate by allowing time to enjoy the simple things in life: family and friends, worship time, the outdoors, fun activities, and hobbies.

Schedule regular breaks each day and plan vacations or staycations.

Practice time management for health's sake!

Financial and Money Management

Know the exact amount of gross and net income earnings, interest on savings and investment, or other sources.

Decide what portion of this is to be set aside for regular savings, an emergency fund, and charitable and church donations.

Save the major part of bonuses and income tax refunds, when possible.

List all bills and expenses including those that are due other than each month. Examples: Christmas, vacation, etc.

Now do the math for income and expenses!!!! Be truthful!!!!

Review payroll deductions, especially income taxes, to determine what adjustments need to be made to best fit your financial plans.

Use bankers as basic financial advisors. They are free and their income is not commission-based.

Banks are generally not your best sources for investment returns due to very low-interest earnings.

Attend classes or use online financial planning videos to research good savings and investment options. *Beware of scams!!!

Use credit basically when it works to your advantage: to make major purchases, to get a discount on purchases, or get better warranty protection, etc.

Credit companies make huge profits when customers stay in debt to them or pay higher interest rates on debt!

Careful planning gives the customer a greater profit!

Computer Tips

Know your mouse! The left click button executes what you want to do. The right click button gives you options of what you want to do.


When you want to print, insure the printer you want to print to is ready and the printer name is the default printer. If you want to print to a different printer, click on the down arrow beside the printer selection and choose a different.


When surfing the internet, use the address bar to type in the link you want to surf. If the link is long, i.e., after accessing the website, add the link to favorites. The next time you want to access the site, simply click on favorites and select the site you want to visit.


 When you are finished using an application, close or logoff  the application. Too many applications running simultaneously may affect the performance of your device and lower your battery power.

Move your most frequent used apps to the desktop by clicking start, select your app, right click on the app when it appears and left click to add the app to the desktop.


When on the desktop and you don't see your app icon on the task bar or on the desktop, type the name of the app in the search bar (lower left corner) and select your app from the search results.



1. I feel the love of others who are not around me.
2. I am an amazing gift to myself, my friends, and the world. I am too much of  much of an amazing gift to feel self-pity.


3. I love and appreciate myself. I am who I am and I love myself.


4. I do not need the company of others to feel complete. I am more than enough. I enjoy being in my own solitude.


5. The past no longer matters. It has no control over me. What only matters is the present. What I do in the present will shape my future. The past has no say in this.

6. Everything that I need will be provided to me at the right time and the right place. When something is meant to happen it will happen. 

7. It is too early to give up on my dreams. it is always too early to give up on my dreams

8. I will not give up until I have tried everything. And when I have tried everything I will look for other ways to try. 

9. I believe in myself and I believe in the path I have chosen. I cannot choose the obstacles in my
way, but I can choose to continue on my path, because it leads to my goals. 

10. I am not only enough, I am more than enough. I also get better every day I live. Tomorrow I will be a better version of myself than I was today. 

11. I will not criticize myself. I will love myself for who I am and for what I have become. 

12. I will award and praise myself for my accomplishments. I will not dwell on the praise of others
for my own praise is more than enough. 

13. I will not compare myself to anyone else because everyone is on their own personal journeys. My journey is unique and cannot be compared. 

14. I will only compare myself to myself. I know what greatness I can accomplish and I will only hold myself to that. 

15. I will not look at the darkness in the world around me but instead at the light that is within me. 

16. I am happy with who I am. I am in my own skin. I am enough and I do not need to be someone else. 

17. The answer is always in front of me, even if I have not yet seen it. As long as I continued to search I will find the answer. 

18. Every problem I ever face will have a solution. There has never been a question without an answer. I just need to discover the answer. 

19. I am a smart, capable, brilliant woman, and I have everything I need to get through this. When I make it through this I will be better for it. 

20. I am safe and I am well. I am healthy and I am loved. 


21. I will follow my dreams no matter what happens around me. The only person who can prevent me from achieving my dreams is me.

22. Those who love me will always love me, even if they do not fully understand my dreams. True friends and family will love me regardless of what my dreams. False friends will love me because of my dreams. 

23. I will accept people for who they are and will support them as they continue to follow their own dreams. Even if I do not understand I will always support them. 

24. I will let go of my worries I cannot control. I will focus my energy on only what I can control. 

25. I am fully in charge of my future. I am the only one who can dictate the outcome. 

26. I fully trust my ability. I trust my ability to provide for my family. I trust in my ability to care for my family. 

27. I will participate in the day to the greatest of my ability. I will give today my very best. 

28. I wake up every morning with hope for the day. I will start my day out with joy as joy is what I want to give and what I want to receive. 

29. Only my thoughts are my reality. I will focus on the good and the joyful and avoid the negative. 


30. I will relax my mind and I will stop thinking of the false stories. I will allow my mind to unwind and be at peace. 30. I will relax my mind and I will stop thinking of the false stories. I will allow my mind to unwind and be at peace. 


31. I enjoy the work I do. I know the work I do will help the greater good. I will always strive to put in my best every day, regardless of what is going on around me. 

32. I will ask for meaningful work and will do my very best. I will find it rewarding with whatever I do. 


33. I can change the world with what I do. The more effort I give the more I will get out of it. 


34. I do not need anyone else to thrive in this life. I do not need to depend on anyone else to success in this life. I am all that I need and I am enough. 


35. I am beautiful and smart. Everyone I encounter sees me as smart and beautiful. 


36. I can leave any negative situation whenever I choose. 


37. I will choose my friends who love me for me. Those who do not love me for me are not my friends and I need to let them go. 


38. I will surround myself with people who love me and who care for me. 


39. My friends will not judge me. My friends will not influence what I do in my life. My friends have my best intentions in mind. 


40. Every hardship I go through will make me better for the future. The hardships help prepare me and harden me. I can do greater things because of these hardships. 


41. My family is a gift. We do not always agree and that is okay. Each family member is their own person and has their own line of thinking. But that doesn't stop us from being family. 


42. I will always show my family how much I love them by how I act and what I say. 


40. Every hardship I go through will make me better for the future. The hardships help prepare me and harden me. I can do greater things because of these hardships. 


41. My family is a gift. We do not always agree and that is okay. Each family member is their own person and has their own line of thinking. But that doesn't stop us from being family. 


42. I will always show my family how much I love them by how I act and what I say. 


43. I will always trust myself to make the best decision for myself. 


44. I will listen to my mind and let my gained wisdom help direct me down the right path. 


45. I will always love my own family even if they do not understand the decisions I make or the directions I take.